Writing Core Wounds V
Accessing the story of my core wounds through fiction
Writing the story, ‘Just Breathe’ gave me the space, structure and power to change things enough to make it possible for me to articulate my emotional world.
It was actually through writing this story that I came to learn and accept that I am an adult survivor of complex childhood trauma and that the reason I was writing about a character sexually abused as a child was that I was. By speaking of this through fiction, I was not betraying the promise I’d made my perpetrator. It also meant I could bypass my irrational but longstanding fear that the threat I was given to prevent me speaking.
I post the opening of ‘Just Breathe’ with the view to further unpacking how and why core wounds will negatively impact adult life until we learn how to engage them in a way that is empowering. This way I can demonstrate show why storytelling can be an effective strategy for knowing and dealing with core wounds and re-writing one’s story their way.
Owning the Story of Our Adult Live
By identifying the nuanced ways our early life forms the blueprint influence the middle and end of our life, it's possible to make visible the power unconscious mechanisms hold over us. To consciously know and understand them shrinks this power, giving us the opportunity to redirect the middle and end of our life story. To rephrase, we may actively author the story that we live out rather than overwritten by the automatic default patterns making up our blueprint.
Knowledge and developing our capacity to process complex emotions in a constructive manner frees us. It gives us the opportunity to consciously steer the life we live as adults in a different direction by choosing to no longer be enslaved by old patterns and programming. What we’ve experienced is not all there is available to be experienced. It's necessary to consider ourselves worthy of setting our standards higher than they were set through implication for us as children. As adults, we can only receive what we settle for and accept.
When adult life remains influenced by our core wounds, it's hard to function with efficacy. Our bodies carry the weight and pain of these stories and therefore limited by the effects of them. These wounds negatively and falsely shape the way we see and feel about ourselves, others and the world. It's not that we allow them in. Instead, it’s unconscious, automatic and therefore invisible. So is the fact that there are other, lighter, freer ways to experience being in the world. Without the assistance of a mental health professional, understanding partner or creative pursuit in this case storytelling, it’s near impossible to begin seeing how one’s original wounds influence the limiting beliefs, fears and avoidance mechanisms in place to perpetually compromise all we can become, deserve to enjoy and are capable of creating.
Breaking the Cycle
To take the time out to consciously engage with, acknowledge and learn from our core wounds and the powerfully disabling stories they have formatted our psyche with is to break the cycle. To actively stop these wounds from bleeding over attempts to move and grow beyond the defence mechanisms or maladaptive behaviours is to work through our wounds. For if we do not become conscious of them we are unconsciously drawn back into repeating them.
The pain located in core wounds needs cannot experience release until it is felt. Without experiencing the emotional reality of the wound, it cannot undergo the process of digestion, assimilation and release. Storytelling assists in knowing what meaning and significance our beginning had for us. Through writing we are able to change the meaning and significance we attribute to it. Upon working through our pain, vulnerability and ‘perceived weaknesses’ we experience that this is where our power lies. With this insight the meaning and significance of our wounds potentially transforms and positively affects and rewrites our present and future.